Tragic and unsettling news out of the Oliver camp today. Reports indicate that in a freak accident Ryan Oliver was critically injured during a recent recreational activity. While rollerblading around his basement, Ryan managed to trip over his own gayness and fell on his erect penis, breaking it off from his torso. Ryan was immediately rushed to hospital where doctor's were fortunately able to re-attach his missing man tool.

It was later realized that a medical mishap had occurred as doctor's had re-attached the wrong penis. On the upside, the penis they did re-attach was that of a horse. But on the downside, that horse was a chetlan pony. Ryan is currently in stable condition at a local hospital, but his emotional condition remains rattled and his availability for the FMC unknown. We send our condolences to Ryan, his wife, his dog, and lastly his mistress... Scott Truax.

Submitted by: Ian McMurtrie